Saying Goodbye - Both Happy and Sad

This weekend we said goodbye to my aunt.  It was a lesson to me in how to live a life of love and meaning as I sat in the church packed with family, friends and mere acquaintances who all took the time to come together to remember an incredible lady.  There were many, mostly family, who traveled a long way to be here, and others who came a few blocks because she meant enough to them to make the trip.  As most memorial services are, it was both a time of sadness for our loss and happy, sometimes funny, memories of someone we all loved.

Then the next day, the family gathered at our family gravesite to pay our respects to those who have already passed on.  I don't live near my relatives, but we have a unique family where all of my mom's family - our grandparents, aunts & uncles and cousins - all grew up together.  This means that all 16 of us cousins grew up like brothers & sisters and we all felt like we had 6 sets of parents.  It's incredible, now that the next generation is reaching adulthood, that we can still gather like this and feel like we're all part of a legacy of family completely dedicated to each other even though we have scattered around the country.

My aunt would have loved this, and my grandparents would have been proud to see us all there, together in unity experiencing both sadness at having to say goodbye to yet another loved one and joy in being together.  This was an opportunity for us "kids" to graduate to the next level and become the generation who is responsible for carrying on the family traditions and passing on our important lessons to our kids, so that they can take over someday.

My uncle gave each of us the opportunity to say something as we were gathered around the family plot, and for the first time, I really appreciated how special our family is and how all the years of growing together and gathering have allowed us to truly celebrate who we are and open up the deepest parts of ourselves to each other.  It's true that our loved ones who have already passed on still live on in each one of us - that was clearly evident yesterday.  And I believe it's also true that as long as there are those who remember you, your spirit will continue to live on.  Our task now is to keep those memories alive in our kids to pass them on to their kids, and so on, to keep this special family living on forever.